* Warning: this post contains genuine anxiety, real-time procrastination, and 24 carat chaos. It is not for the fainthearted.
I’m composed of 82% Fear-of-Missing-Out which leads me to agree to a range of things I should probably say no to. It means I have had the opportunity to do some pretty awesome stuff at work but it also comes at a cost. The price I pay generally involves a few sleepless nights, the occasional dream that the Vice-Chancellor calls me to a meeting and I turn up naked apart from a stuffed possum on my head and a nervous smile, and a tendency to word
Naturally enough when I got asked to present a workshop on how to do presentations, I said yes.
Several hours-in of the 25+ hours I spent on preparing material for the workshop had me questioning my career choices and cycling through Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief.
I really love teaching and presenting** and every-so often I manage to convince some kind person that I’m ok at it. Nevertheless, I still feel under-prepared and worry about my inadequacy in all sorts of ways. Feeling like a fraud (be it about our knowledge, our process, or our expertise) is not something we talk about readily but it is something I think we should acknowledge more.
The awesome Hugh Kearns is due to present a workshop on the imposter syndrome in Dunedin in a couple of weeks (register here!) so it seems timely to write about my reality before rocking up and delivering a talk, lecture or workshop.
** Showing-Off, as my mother would say.
Claire Gallop, Graduate Research School